Becoming Something

For so long I was scared I wouldn’t be anything. I went to University because I always thought that you had to be something–it didn’t matter what, just be something and be good at it. So I set out to become ‘something’ and I decided I was going to be a Graphic Designer. By the time I reached the end, that journeys’ destination was somewhere I didn’t expect. I didn’t (and still don’t) have the career title of graphic designer, I didn’t move to the big city after graduation and I didn’t become the something I wanted. and if I didn’t become something, was anything I did of any worth?

The last few years holds some amazing memories but also so much disappointment (mostly in myself). I held myself to expectations I could never meet, and put such strict guidelines on still trying to become something that I broke my own heart every time I failed (read: that was a lot of times). But somewhere between the end of a year and a beginning of a new one I realised I don’t want to just become something. I wanted to be someone. Someone who creates things, someone who loves people, someone who worships God because of who He is and not because of how I feel, someone who has a job she loves but a life she loves all the more.

In a matter of days I will be moving to Brisbane–a goal I set for my year has unfolded in weeks, and I will be starting a new job in a new city. I am so excited for this long awaited adventure. I am not the something I set out to be and that is more than okay. Because at the end of the day you are not what you do. What you do is apart of who you are but it is not everything you are. It isn’t your laughter, it isn’t the way you make the best baked goods out, it isn’t the way you love the people in your life or is it the adventures you take. Life, as I have recently learned, isn’t always about becoming something. Sometimes it is about becoming, and being someone.

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