You’ll See Me Tomorrow

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You’ll see me tomorrow because I want to be there so show you it gets better. That life is sweet and pure joy tastes so good. I’ll be there tomorrow to show you that, in case you can’t feel it to be true right now.

I promise you that there are people who love you deeply. They might be by your side or they might not be around right now, but I can tell you they are coming. There will be people who make you laugh so light and free that you’ll wonder how you ever had a care in the world. They will stand beside you on the days that are heavy and keep you confined to the stillness of your bed.

There is coffee to drink and adventures to be had and books to read and moments to be lived. There are dreams and hopes and stories to be told. Stories only you can tell. Stories that won’t be finished if you aren’t there to write them. Those are the stories that matter most.

You are important.
You are loved.
You are needed.
You are irreplaceable.

There is a song that says “tomorrow will be kinder”. I pray you believe that. Please stay until you know that to be true. There are people who will fight this battle beside you. You are not alone.

Life is worth living.

We’ll see you tomorrow.

** Both these words and the above image were posted in September for World Suicide Prevention Day and ‘We’ll See You Tomorrow‘ (as organised by TWLOHA). Words and Illustration by yours truly, image used from Unsplash.

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Becoming Something

For so long I was scared I wouldn’t be anything. I went to University because I always thought that you had to be something–it didn’t matter what, just be something and be good at it. So I set out to become ‘something’ and I decided I was going to be a Graphic Designer. By the time I reached the end, that journeys’ destination was somewhere I didn’t expect. I didn’t (and still don’t) have the career title of graphic designer, I didn’t move to the big city after graduation and I didn’t become the something I wanted. and if I didn’t become something, was anything I did of any worth?

The last few years holds some amazing memories but also so much disappointment (mostly in myself). I held myself to expectations I could never meet, and put such strict guidelines on still trying to become something that I broke my own heart every time I failed (read: that was a lot of times). But somewhere between the end of a year and a beginning of a new one I realised I don’t want to just become something. I wanted to be someone. Someone who creates things, someone who loves people, someone who worships God because of who He is and not because of how I feel, someone who has a job she loves but a life she loves all the more.

In a matter of days I will be moving to Brisbane–a goal I set for my year has unfolded in weeks, and I will be starting a new job in a new city. I am so excited for this long awaited adventure. I am not the something I set out to be and that is more than okay. Because at the end of the day you are not what you do. What you do is apart of who you are but it is not everything you are. It isn’t your laughter, it isn’t the way you make the best baked goods out, it isn’t the way you love the people in your life or is it the adventures you take. Life, as I have recently learned, isn’t always about becoming something. Sometimes it is about becoming, and being someone.

To Believe In Better Things

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Sometimes you turn twenty four and you forget who you were. You forget you were sixteen and naive, that you listened to ‘heavy music’ and that you wore your hair in a side fringe even though it wasn’t cut in that way. Someone should tell sixteen year old you that having ‘Page Avenue’ by Story of the Year on your iPod did not make you as hardcore as you thought it did. You forget that you were eighteen and full of wonder, that finishing high school was so exciting and you didn’t have plans but you knew you were going somewhere and the adventure was to be a great one. Most of all though, you forget that you were twenty and heartbroken because life was disappointing and no one had warned you about that. No one told you that the first year of your twenties would leave you broken and numb, with a very good habit of self medicating. Oh how good you were at that.

I don’t turn twenty four for another four months (that was a lot of fours/fors) but I want to blog about this while I remember because for some reason, tonight I am reminded of who I used to be and I want to tell that person how much better it has gotten. How much better it will always be. That you will find music, and songs, and people, and light. That you will find “a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things” and believe in better things you will. I promise.

I promise.

If it is you who is currently fighting that battle, please stay. Your story is important, you are important. Today might not be so good, and tomorrow and the next day might not be the best also, but one day you will wake up and find yourself nothing like you used to be. You will smile again, you will feel again, you will be happy again. You are made for so much more. Please believe that, and if you can’t believe it right now, please know I believe it for you.

Sometimes you turn twenty four and you forget who you were. Most times this is a good thing– it means things have changed, that you have changed and that health and happiness are a reality. Other times, it pays to be reminded, if only for a night, of who you were and the things you have overcome. I pray I always believe in the better things.

There are many more words I could write and things I could say but maybe that is a story for another time. If you haven’t noticed by the image above or by the quotes I have used, I think the guys at TWLOHA are a pretty rad bunch. I owe them a whole lot and since seeing that myspace banner way back in 2007, I have always been a huge supporter. Jamie Tworkowski recently did a Tedx talk (maybe that’s what prompted this whole thing. That and finding a splendid collection of myspace photos) which I am going to post below. That guy really does have a way with words.

What makes you feel alive?

A Gen Y Heart

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If you know me, you will know that my core list of things I like rarely changes. In fact I think every online bio for the last three years has been a re-wording of my age, my love for winter, all types of coffee and apple devices. Also on that list is acoustic versions of songs and my like-love-hate-love for all things design related (if we were facebook official our relationship status would probably read something like “Samantha and Graphic Design are in an open and complicated relationship”, but that’s a whole other story).

Another thing I really really like-love is social networking. Facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram, wordpress, vsco grid, the loop, linked in–you name it, you can probably find me on it. You only have to look at my list of social networks to know that I am a member of Generation Y, a generation who grew up both in real life and online. We share everything with the world wide web and sometimes spend time more time on our online presence than our in real life ones. The reason? Our online profiles have become an extension of ourselves. We express ourselves within the pages of a blog, we project our thoughts and feelings out into the vast online community in 140 characters or less and we share and create content with people from all around the world.

People sometimes assume that because so much of our life is lived online that we aren’t living at all, and while I do see where they are coming from (and I completely agree that some moments deserved to simply be experienced and not blogged, tweeted and instagrammed about) at the end of the day, my life is so much broader because of social networking. Would my life still be awesome with it? Of course it would be, but my online profiles have taught me so much more than how to take the perfect display picture and when is the best time for an ironic hashtag1. There is something about being able to express yourself on the biggest empty canvas you have ever seen (seriously the world wide web is humungous) and have people potentially respond from every corner of the globe. It’s inspiring and humbling and sometimes scary to know how far you yourself can travel without ever leaving your apartment. You share your heart and it can go all over the world–from Australia to America, to London, to Tokyo and everywhere in between. If we are what we think, and our thoughts can travel the world, then there is no limit to where we can go. And it is that sharing of experiences with people we know, and the community of those we are yet to meet, that makes our online profiles so much more than a page on a website. They are an extension of us, holding the adventures of a lifetime. They are photo albums, scrap books, ‘electronic substitutes for ink-soaked journals’2.

Expressing ourselves isn’t a new concept. We have long been sharing parts of ourselves with people but now the platform has changed and the audience has widened. While there is a balance to be achieved between online and face to face interaction, there is nothing wrong with blogging/tweeting/instagramming about those things that make our life ours, even if people don’t always understand why we do it. Life is meant to be lived in the now but life is also meant to be shared with those we love and just shared in general. And hey, there’s a button for that on the internet and everything.

1 the answer is probably always. or not.
2 http://athenagracee.tumblr.com